i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Can Purell be used as lube?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
