Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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