he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
