I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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