Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
