HIV tests are more positive than that guy
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
