So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
