i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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