i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
