How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
then he tried to convert me to islam
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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