dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
