I just saw a hot homeless man
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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