what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
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