Why are handjobs necessary in class?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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