I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
