what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
