I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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