Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
