New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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