I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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