I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
