Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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