I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
The adults are the big ones right?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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