I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Randomize
