before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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