What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
