yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
