gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
