This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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