Porn is love you can see.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
