Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
oh god the rape fog is back!
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
