You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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