I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You're like the curious george of whores
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
