hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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