You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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