Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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