I'm really into asian looking animals
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
