Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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