just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
sex in a hospital.. check
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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