the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
