I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
