Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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