dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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