I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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