Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
