Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
