I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
