Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
