I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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