that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
whose ass print is on the piano?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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